Hard times.

It is so hard to know that people you love can be reached by death. There are plenty of times that we want to die because we are sad or lonely or scared. But when death touches someone we love is like we hold onto life desperately.
Last week I lost an aunt. A very loved aunt. She was sick and in terrible pain and I know it is better that she's resting in someone's arms up there. But the fact that people you grew up with, the people who you were expecting to meet into family reunions are slowly resting underground makes my back shiver.
Even if I don't enjoy being around people that much, my family are the only people that I can actually feel okay around them. I have a huge, huge family and we enjoy each others company a lot. I adore every single one of my cousins and aunts and uncles. Everyone is so funny and I have a part of them since I grew up with them and their long after-tea talks, music and lights in the backyard of some of us.
My grandmom had 10 (brothers and sisters) siblings. I only met 6 of them. But I feel like I have a piece of each them in me.
 All of them were and are so kind and I'm treasuring the 3 of the 10 that still live.
My grandmom is one of them.

She means my whole world, I don't think I ever loved so much as I love her. I grew up the way I did thanks to her, I have this fascination with books and learning thanks to her, I keep learning from her every single day. And to see that she's losing a sibling after sibling makes my heart bleed. I just wish I could take her pain away and make her feel in peace.

But I know death is part of life. Without death there's no balance in this world and I'm happy to know that my family members had a long life. Not all of them had a peaceful, happy life, but they lived every single thing they could, they worked hard, they never let anyone let them down, they stood strong for their kids, they fought to keep a home, a family.
I realized I don't wanna live this life empty, I want to leave something that inspire people, I want people to not talk about my looks but my words.
I don't want to be a sad memory to my future family, I want to inspire the future generations of this bloodline and people outside of it too.




To Nancy, my beloved aunt. I know you are resting in peace, I adore you and even if I can't look at your pictures without crying, I know you are in a better place now.

Things that inspire this week

I spend a lot of time looking at tumblrs and pages with pictures and poems that inspires me. Also, I'm a huge fan of instagram and all the artist you can find there. I always find myself spending hours with my cellphone watching pictures and getting super inspired here and there.
So I decided I will start this entry every monday of every week to publish thing I find inspiring or that I liked so much that I kept them in mind.



"Traveling- it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller."

 

Discover why you’re important, then refuse to settle for anyone who doesn’t completely agree.
Fisher Amelie, Thomas & January  

"There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t ‘cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever."
Meredith Grey  

"We ignored truths for temporary happiness"

 

Well, hello!

Has been a long time since I could have a blog just to write stuff that I like, have some place to put everything that inspires me, stories, pictures, and stuff like that. Since I needed something to clear my mind from so many ideas I decided to start again.

For those who don't know me, my name is Karina, people usually calls me Kath or Medusa. I'm 23 years old and I'm steps away from being a profesional graphic designer, also I'm a tattoo artist, illustrator, writer, amateur makeup artist and I currently work some days per week as a bartender besides my tattoo artist job.
In this place I will uploading stuff that I like, thoughts and random things.
Feel free to read, think and comment if you like.